I’m gonna be honest with you, having come from what I did I have a nagging fear.
Shortly after I got out of bible college, I got my first tattoo, it is each of my 3 sons, names with the scripture phrase from Psalm 22:30 “A generation shall serve Him” all in Hebrew. My second tattoo was a Chi Rho from my shoulder extending down through the armband of my sons’ names. My manager at my current employer at the time said I was stupid for getting it asking me what would happen if I didn't believe one day. To which I told him I’ll never not believe.
Fast forward about 7 years and guess where I was? Unbelief. My profession of faith had proven itself to be even more shallow that the tattoos I had gotten. I walked away from Jesus as an agnostic but fully pursuing my own pleasure and fulfillment.
Eight years of that is all God permitted and He saved me. In a way that I didn’t expect, and yet unmistakably confirmed it was all of God, He called me to himself. He changed my heart and brought me to faith in Jesus. Instantly my heart let go of the sin I was engorged on and all I wanted to do was follow Jesus. It wasn’t that I was slowly becoming weary of my sin. Up to this moment, I was consuming it and couldn’t get enough; but when The Holy Spirit called me to rest in Jesus, I was done with it. Augustine said something to the effect “LORD, command what you will and grant what you command.” This is how it was. He told me I was done with my life of sin and simultaneously I gladly and wholly agreed.
But the Christian life is a fight;it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, otherwise David would have had no need to say “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” . Perseverance is a topic that Scripture does not shy away from. Pressure comes from all places without AND within. One fiery dart that seems to be very disturbing to me on any given day and at any given moment is my past. Before, I was confident in my own ability to stand; now I know all too well my inability to be faithful. The world, the flesh, and the accuser all have no shame in reminding me.
So I have a fear, sometimes seemingly all consuming, that I will once more fall away. I was praying today, and sharing my fear with God and He reminded me, “It’s not your commitment to me, Daniel. I’m committed to you.” Intertwined with this was also the truth, “you were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit”. I can’t explain how both truths hit me at the same time yet distinctly, but they did. As I was thanking God for His grace in keeping me, for His goodness in turning my eyes back to Him, and asking for forgiveness for taking them off Him to begin with; He continued to remind me that He bought me with the blood of Jesus. He will not let me perish. He will keep me. His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
So my brother/sister in Jesus, I’m sharing that in hopes that God encourages you as He did me. The God Who chose you is the God Who bought you. The God Who bought you is the God Who called you. The God who called you is the God Who sealed you. The God Who sealed you is the God Who will resurrect you.
Satan wants our eyes off Jesus. Satan knows when we’re consumed with the possibilities of what could be, we aren’t consumed with the God Who is and Who was, and Who is to come.
"In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."
(The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Eph 1:13–14.)